Friday, March 31, 2006

Tatiana's Anthropomorphic Ape Celebrates Skye Friday


This is not a dream.

The other day I was sitting outside RadioShack with Emily (have fun in Minnesota! Have a safe flight! Say hello to everyone! Don't forget to wash behind yer ears!) and our conversation suddenly dropped off. We were mesmerized by what we saw before us: a woman in a bright pink dress with a yellow star in the middle dancing with a giant CGI ape (not this one) in front of a cartoon backdrop.

Who was this person, and how could I devote my life to her?

It turned out to be Tatiana, venerable Mexican kid-pop star and television personality, in her nuevo video "El Chango Marango." Tatiana's been making pop albums since 1984, and hosted a popular children's show carried on the Galavision network in the US until 2001. Last year she relaunched her solo career and is also doing this:

Tatiana has managed to get her career as a singer and actress back on track, releasing new albums with continued success and acting as the mermaid Coral on a Mexican telenovela, Amy, la NiƱa de la Mochila Azul.


Tatiana, meet Sara Paxton!

Info courtesy Tatiana.info, which seems to be hands down the best source of all Tatiana info on the web, and the Wikmeister.

Her official site and wonderland is pretty incredible but difficult to navigate. Good use of Flash rivaled by another recent developing interest, Trollz (which I'll post about later -- they have a multimedia center that streams under-the-radar teen pop but NOT "It's a Hair Thing," the Trollz single that I MUST HAVE).

Have you decided to devote your life's work and a considerable amount of your savings to Tatiana yet? Perhaps these video samples will convince you.

From Tatiana.tv:

Stream La Ranita

Stream El Chango Marango (select "Nuevo Video: 'El Chango Marango'" from list)

And since it is SKYE FRIDAY, I suppose a super special shout-out is in order. This one goes out to Skye by way of her favorite indie phenomenon, Death from Above 1979 (or is it M.I.A. now?), the band that originally wrote and recorded this song.

Skye Sweetnam - Wild World


Tuesday, March 28, 2006

HANNAH MONTANA JUST TOOK OVER THE WORLD



...AND I BET YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE! YES I'M TRACKING DOWN THIS SONG RIGHT NOW, NUMBER 19 ON RADIO DISNEY IN ITS FIRST WEEK, IT'LL BE NUMBER ONE IN THREE, I'M TAKING BETS. SINGLE OF THE WEEK. SOMETHING TO DISLODGE THOSE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BRATZ!

Who woulda thunk that a girl like her (that is, Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter) woulda doubled as a star? Well, her father, maybe, who just HAD to have intervened when Miley didn't make call-backs (c'mon, she was 11, what do you expect?). Then again, has Billy Ray had any cultural/industry cachet whatsoever since 199_? Not to say he did then. But his daughter's got it in SPADES. Potential slight edge on Hilary Duff -- endearing country twang. Funny, because Hilary's from Houston.

Uh, so do I really want to pay TWO DOLLARS for this thing? Dude, I just bought the Pokemon soundtrack and a Geoffrey O'Brien book for that!

(Oh, quick conspiracy theory: "1985" always plays within five-six songs of "Sk8er Boi" to keep both songs in constant rotation. They sound almost identical, and both pretty much suck -- and fer chrissakes, "Sk8er Boi" is her best song!!)

No song today, folks, I'm too damn excited about Miley "Stewart" and her badass alter ego tearin' shit up!!!!

EDIT: Thanks YouTube! Too tired to post 'em last night. Get them while they last, if YouTube couldn't withstand NBC, they don't stand a chance against Tha Diz.

Hannah Montana - Best of Both Worlds (live)

Hannah Montana - Best of Both Worlds (edit, TV Theme)

Hannah Montana - Who Said (live)

Hannah Montana - This is the Life (live)

I just watched the first episode. I'm...speechless...

EDIT 2: NUMBER THREE ON THE TOP THREE TODAY! SHE'S MOVIN' ON UP!


Sunday, March 26, 2006

incubaT'd

Last _____'d post, I promise. Wait, no, I promise nothing.

One of the most interesting recent features of Radio Disney is its "incubator," in which the teen pop stars of tomorrow are hatched and thrust upon tweensters across the United States (and Argentina). As far as I can tell, the feature only dates back to May of last year or so (a few months before I flew past the fail-safe point of obsession).

Early incubatees included B5, Hope Partlow, Emma Roberts, and Sabrina Bryan of the Cheetah Girls. Teddy Geiger, Nikki Flores, Kaci Brown, the Jonas Brothers, Cheyenne, and Jessie Daniels (all of whom I've written about before) came out of the RD crucible as well.

But the lesser-knowns are (predictably) a lot more interesting. Let's meet some of them!




DaHv

DaHv DaHv DaHv. AMAZING -- a must-have for any historical overview of kiddie-rap mix. I missed "Pass the Shirley Temple" when it made slight novelty waves last spring.

The new(er) track, "Mean Girls," is also great, with a (very) slight "Valley Girl" vibe going on. Also featured in a strange political cartoon here -- I wasn't paying close attention but the actual politics expressed are kind of shady/ambiguous.

You can listen to several of Dahv's hits in their entirety at her Myspace page.

Wait a second, omigod, is "Pass the Shirley Temple," like, wow, TOTALLY xenophobic?

My aunt runs up off/ To with the waiter serving caviar/ Imported from Beluga/ And I think that he was, too!


Careful, young lady...thin line between tween 'tude and racism (cf. Daphne and Celeste's "I Love Your Sushi"). Granted, there is no such place as "Beluga." Is that even what she's saying there? This song is very silly. Best is when she just plain gives up and makes funny noises. Beep boop bop boo doot! BVVRRRRVVVRVVV!




The Truth Squad

Of extra special interest because THEY DO NOT EXIST. I'm sorry, I've looked EVERYWHERE for proof of this group's existence, and I've only found it at the Incubator site. And yet the Truth Squad has TWO songs in rotation ("Graduation" and "Believe")! $5 to anyone who can prove that any of these kids have actually recorded music.

They ostensibly promote the following agenda:

The Truth Squad is a vocal and dance hip hop/pop- “super group” -comprised of four uniquely talented young performers that individually have mad skills in dance, electric vocals, and an unbelievable presence. They also share a unifying desire to fight lies and expose dishonesty. Pledging to stick together through thick and thin, the Truth Squad has set out to show how friendship and trust are the keys to a better world and best of all, they do it all through phat beats and tight moves. Each Truth Squad member has spent years working, honing their craft and starring in feature films, TV shows, commercials, print ads, singing on albums and performing before millions. But “super star” resumes are not enough; these four kids understand the value of positive thinking, diversity, and hard work. All of them have exciting individual careers but recognize the value of working as a group to spread the truth!


OK, "Kid Karizz" is a cancer survivor whose latest film played at the Pan-African Film Festival and Jade was in the "Hollaback Girl" video. But this group-like entity still kind of creeps me out for some reason.




Madison Cross

Daughter of Christopher Cross. Yes, I actually paid for this. I don't want to talk about it.

More news as incubator-chasing continues. You know, it occurs to me that I was in an incubator for two whole months when I was born -- so where the hell is MY glory, huh????

SOUNDS BETTER AFTER INCUBATION

Dahv - School

Friday, March 24, 2006

Needs Less Cow Belle


Amazing as it looks?

Lip service to the most predictable Disnee move ever: Aly and AJ have their own TV movie now.

Aly and AJ will find out how to work for a living...in a dairy! They drop their cell phone in the yogurt! They spill what could be blueberry syrup or calf's blood all over their clean white uniforms! Hilarity ensues! But!

But trouble brews when someone empties the company's bank accounts and now, the sisters must put aside their pampered existence to save the business and their father's reputation.


THPTH. A truly pathetic cross-platformer...couldn't these gals land Aquamarine or something? There doesn't even seem to be an original soundtrack..."On the Ride" is being recycled from Into the Rush, likely to pave the way for yet another single eking onto the Radio Disney Top 30.

Which reminds me, while perusing the current RD playlist (based on eligible Top 30 candidates), I notice that not only do Aly and AJ have ELEVEN songs in rotation, but at least one of them ("Sticks and Stones") is, uh, lyrically problematic. Remember, kids, in the end YOU'LL be the victim, and when you reach for help there will be NO ONE! NO ONE!!!!!!


Aly and AJ to fans: SLEEP TIGHT!

In other crazee cross-platformin' news, I didn't realize Brie Larson was both starring in and contributing a track to the soundtrack of Hoot, which has Jimmy Buffett performing "Werewolves of London" and "Barefootin'" with Alan Jackson (?), meaning this is in the running for weirdest soundtrack of the week.

Pre-emptive warning to any film reviewer who makes a pun on "hoot" in the title or body of his or her review of this film. I will be keeping track and writing your names in blood in a future post.

And now, to remember a more idyllic time when teen poppers just teen popped and no one needed a REASON to appropriate cheesy cowboy kitsch, I present a song that features cheesy cowboy kitsch for no discernible reason whatsoever. Yes, it's Steps; no, they never made a TV movie. They could barely handle their music videos! (Admittedly, H starred in some kind of reality show.)

...Special SPRING BREAK! shout out to Emily, who as of yet has not been cross-platformed.

Steps - 5,6,7,8

SPRING BREAK! SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT SONG

The Mattoid - Party Time


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Wreck'd



New Wreckers single (sort of their first, except for the one featured on "One Tree Hill," which I've never seen...and judging from the clip, never will) is being previewed on AOL Music.

If y'all didn't know, the Wreckers are one half Michelle Branch and one half Michelle Branch back-up singer (Jessica Harp). I think I like Jessica Harp more than Michelle Branch! Interesting mixture of pop country and confessional rock/teen pop (or, uh, Michelle Branch goes country?).

The new single is pretty boring, but you can judge for yerself:

Stream "Leave the Pieces"

And check out this "One Tree Hill" clip with the previous song. It's not exactly a "single"..."The Good Kind," is better than the new one, I suppose, but still nothing extraordinary. But dig that stick-in-butt acting! Major bonus...there should be like thirteen wooden "skits" on their full-length to evoke this TV drama vibe. Check it out from YouTube:



I'll skip the Myspace discussion and just post this separately because 1) I don't have much time today and 2) The Wreckers' Myspace is AWFUL. YOU ARE A MUSICAL ACT. STREAM MUSIC. NO ONE IS GOING TO SWIPE YOUR PRECIOUS INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY. Who runs some of these pages??

Speaking of Myspace, please please PLEASE read Brie Larson's blog. Currently listening to: The Cramps, Big Star, Jimi Hendrix, and Daft Punk, among others. And she's reading up, too:

"And the more substantial, the more solid core of me became, the more delicate and extravagant appeared the close, palpable reality out of which I was being squeezed. In the measure that I became more and more metallic, in the same measure the scene before my eyes becamse inflated. The state of tension was so finely drawn now that the introduction of a since foreign particle, even a mircoscopic particle, as I say, would have shattered everything. For the fraction of a second perhaps I expericed that utter clarity which is epileptic, it is said, is given to know. In that moment I lost completely in the illusion of time and space: the world unfurled its drama simultaniously along a meridian whish had no axis. In this sort of hair-trigger eternity I felt that everything was justified, supremely justified; I felt the wars inside me that had behind this pulp and wrack; I felt that crimes were seething here to emerge tomorrow in blatant screamers; felt the misery grinding itself out with pestle and mortar, the long dull misery that dribbles away in dirty hankerchiefs. On the meridian of time there is no injustice: there is only the poetry of motioncreating the illusion of truth and drama. If at any moment anywhere on comes face to face with the absolute that great sympathy which makes men like Gautama and Jesus seem divine freezes away; the monstrous thing is not that men have created roses out of this dung-heap, but that, for some reason or other, they should want roses. For some reason or the other man looks for the miracle, and to accomplish it he will wade through blood. He will debauch himself with ideas, he will reduce himself to a shadow if for one second of his life he can close his eyes to the hideousness of reality. Everything is endured, diegrace, humiliation, poverty, war, crime, ennui-in the belief that overnight something will occour, a miracle, which will render life tolerable. And all the while the meter is running inside and there is no hand that can reach in there and shut it off. All the while someone is eating the bread of life and drinking the wine, some dirty fat coackroach of a priest who hides away in the cellar guzzling it, while up above in the light of the street a phantom host touches the lips and the blood no miracle somes forth, no microsopic vestige even of relief. Only ideas, pale, attenuated idea which have to be fattened by slaughter; ideas which come forth like bile, like the guts of a pig when the carcass is ripped open"
-henry miller.


the first time I read that, my heart started racing.


SIC(K)!

But hey, Skye better watch her back. And so should you, dear reader -- at least two bubblegum brainiacs walk among us...


This, apparently, is a "stick up."


Friday, March 17, 2006

Skye Friday: One Sheet Edition


How to affix your personalized post-it

Skye Soldiers unite! We have been CHALLENGED!

Hey my bubbly brainiacs!

I'm working on everything for my new record it's going great... but I'm in the middle of writing my new BIO/press release to send out to people that may not know me like you do... so if any of you have any cool words or phrases to describe me or my sound... post it!

Just so you know... if you post, I can't give you writing credit on the BIO... but I will give you all the credit on the board and my website! Deal? Sweet deal! Thanx for your help! ox

Skye


Now I know that many of you out in Skyeland may not be familiar with the press kit process. I would recommend perusing a few do's and do-not-under-any-circumstances-do's over at this thread. A few tips:

1) Don't mention what's-her-name (Skye Lite?) unless it's a scathing passive-aggressive dig. "Skye is recording with the Matrix...they did wonders for Avril -- just think of what they might do with someone who's actually talented!"

2) If "sounds like" comparisons must be included, blindside critics with Skye's obscure and eclectic musical preferences. "Like DFA79 produced by Max Martin!"

3) Provoke male music nerd critics directly. We (I mean "they") LOVE it:

"Skye understands that you, jaded music reviewer, might not take her seriously. To which she replies: bring it on! She's in on whatever joke you've smugly projected onto her career! Why? Because she's smarter than you, jackass! Angst schmangst -- she's a bubblegum brainiac, which is more than you could probably say for yourself at 17! You were getting rejected by girls like Skye -- and guess what, they listened to your pathetic mixtape love letters while banging their insanely gorgeous and popular boyfriends! Come on, DISNEY waits for SKYE to return their calls! When you were 17 the only thing 'Big Five' meant to you was the most times you ever beat it in a single day! Don't take it out on her...and listen carefully, loser!"

4) Include this quote, it's GOLD:

I don’t wanna be another source of pop pablum in this world. If kids grow up with radio convincing them that formulated crap is good music, they won’t be able to tell what’s really good from what’s not. Hopefully people who haven’t ‘gotten it’ or ‘seen the light’ will realize I’m real when they hear my stuff.


5) Include a personalized note. Music critics don't get out much, and when they do it usually involves one to zero other human beings, so a small sticky note done up in colorful Sharpie will win major bonus points. Examples:

♥ To Kelefa Sanneh at the New York Times: "Kelefa, I'm a hot indie rocker chick that Pitchfork wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Good riddance! :) Even though I probably outdraw their audience about fiftyfold, I still enjoy bitching about them to people who likely have no idea what on earth I'm talking about! WHAT "HYPOCRITES," AMIRITE! ;) Also, Young Jeezy is the shit. XO, Skye"

♥ To Ryan Schreiber at Pitchfork: "Ryan, I'm a hot indie rocker chick who loves keepin' it independent just like my favorite band (and labelmate) the Decemberists! I can't believe they aren't headlining your amazing show this year :(...o well, I bet it will still be a blast! I wish you'd post more pictures of last year's show. I keep them all in my Photobucket account along with my totally hot, totally indie Suicide Girl photoshoot spread...give me an 8.0+ and I'll send the link! ;) Also, Sufjan Stevens is the shit. XO Skye"

♥ To Chuck Klosterman at Spin: "Hi Chuck! I sound like DFA79 produced by Max Martin! And I love Cocoa Puffs! Did I mention I'm a hot indie rocker chick -- just like Jenny Lewis! XO Skye"

♥ To Sasha Frere-Jones at the New Yorker: "Sasha, I think that Jenny Lewis is totally overrated. You'll enjoy this CD much better! Your blog is a hoot! XO Skye"

♥ To the Village Voice: No note necessary, guaranteed much love.

♥ To me: "Hi! Is anything wrong? You seem a little edgy! XO Skye PS - What pubs do you write for again?"



BLASTS FROM THE PAST AND A GLIMPSE OF THE FUTURE!

Skye Sweetnam - Imaginary Superstar

Skye Sweetnam - Tangled Up in Me (live on Leno) (Windows Media video)

Skye Sweetnam - Rebel Wannabe (live at Sea World) (Windows Media video)

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Heterot[eenp]opic Space


Benny Bell

I was wondering why I'm in such a good mood, and then I looked all around and saw all of this wonderful music, some of which is out of print (check out one of D&C's most inspired moments), some of which is relatively underappreciated by all y'all in Blogland (Amy, Rose), one of which is one of my favorite novelty songs (didn't realize it was rereleased in the 70s, peaking at #30 on Billboard in '72 -- I heard it through Dr. Demento first. Which means "Laffy Taffy" should hit #1 again in about 30 years).

So here's an exclusive MP3 post of beautiful musical moments for everyone to enjoy in a communal setting. Because as it was theorized today, there is no online democracy, only DIGITAL COMMUNALITY. Not sure what I think of that one, I'm still convinced everyone on the interweb is out to get me. But there we go with those utopia/dystopia binaries again!

Speaking of which, these musical offerings may well transport you to heterotopic spaces of the mind that are "as perfect, as meticulous, as well arranged as our [non-heterotopic space] is messy, ill constructed, and jumbled."

Of course, Wendy Chun would argue that this conception of pure order "obfuscates -- if not annihilates -- other spaces/places already in place," which is why Ana's analogy of Radio Disney as a "colony" of the Disney conglomerate entity (colonies of Puritans in New England and Jesuits in Paraguay being Foucault's basis for the heterotopic space...also a bunch of cool stuff about boats) is imperfect. Besides which, RD is all about unified discourse.

To wit: EVEN THOUGH CHRIS BROWN'S NEWEST SINGLE WAS UNEQUIVOCALLY "KICKED" FROM ROTATION, IT IS STILL, IN FACT, IN ROTATION AT RADIO DISNEY, AND CAN BE VOTED ON IN THE TOP 30. FOR SHAME!

Foucault would totally dig these songs if he liked teen pop, which esoteric analysis of his texts suggests he did. I won't bother wasting your time listing which ones.

THESE SONGS WOULD SOUND MORE PERFECT ON A BOAT

Amy Studt - Misfit

Rose Falcon - Fun

Daphne & Celeste - Ooh Stick You!

Benny Bell - Shaving Cream

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

(A)My(Diamond)space

First, a shout-out to readers from Radosh.net, a great site I'd never heard of until I was led there by my shadowy sitemeter pals. The guy's a major Huckapoo...well, follower, anyway (I suppose "fan" doesn't quite cover it -- those intellectual property links will come in handy!). Note to Radosh: 1) Make sure that Huckapoo's veep candidate is Zetta Bytes (still no authors to speak of...Being There in action?) and 2) I'll finish up my epic HUCKAPOST sometime this week (after Skye Friday, resuming THIS FRIDAY!). Maybe I'll bundle in a musical treat or two...

Anyway...

HOLY CRAP, Myspace networking is taking me to new dizzying heights of glorious teen pop bliss! Clickthroughs yield a few nice finds, while I simultaneously discover that Radio Disney incubaTor-chasing is FUNNER THAN POGS!

Without foither ado...



Ha*Ash

They're Mexican, they're great. I can't understand a single word of their profile so I can't spend too much time on this one (I'm currently hiring a translator)...but damn, you can't beat this sentence in ANY language:

Ha*Ash es un dueto pop de hermanas adolescentes


Aly and AJ wish they were un dueto pop de hermanas adolescentes...instead they're just boring old teenybopper SISTERS. Bleah, what a graceless language! All the more reason for me to buy everything these girls have ever recorded (which thankfully only consists of two moderately priced albums). Major plus: It's all awesome.




Jonas Brothers

Man oh man, these kids are gonna be huge. The great song I heard on Radio Disney the other day was "Mandy," which is what Simple Plan would sound like if they were 12-year-olds instead of 43-year-olds (or whatever) making music for 12-year-olds (which is still OK, I guess). How are these the same kids on the Aquamarine OST? Oh well, gotta pay yer dues. I think the Jonas Brothers will be very happy at Radio Disney in the near future. Like right now...according to the RD podcast, the Jonas Brothers are already tearin' things up:

Did you know that the Jonas Brothers were almost called the Jonas Brother? Nick, the youngest Jonas brother, has been singing ever since he could talk. He was actually discovered singing while getting his hair cut [OK, under what circumstances is it cool to sing while getting your hair cut? This sounds a bit like Skye Sweetnam's hairdresser claim to fame... -Ed.]. Soon Nick was writing songs for his solo CD along with his brothers Kevin and Joseph. When it came time to perform some of the songs for Nick's record label, the producers saw how talented his brothers were and signed them all on the spot!


This particular podcast goes on to mention that Chris Brown is a name YOU WILL NOT FORGET. That was before the kids KICKED his ass to the curb, 68% to 32%. Sorry dude, these boys n' girls are BRUTAL!




Amy Diamond

She's Swedish, she's 13, and that picture scares the shit out of me for some reason (are her eyes airbrushed or something?). This one's tentatively a head-smacking overlook of 2005 (haven't heard the whole album yet, maybe the rest is crap), although I wouldn't be surprised if some of it still counts for 2006 consideration. Nothing too special about the Myspace, but the music retains a kiddie glitz that's becoming increasingly rare in American tween fare. The kids are growing up (or being grown up) too damn fast these days! Back in my day we all thought the Offspring was profound; now kids are getting off on other people's therapy sessions!




Jeannie Ortega

Hollywood Records is pushing this one pretty hard -- Puerto Rican pop diva hopeful Jeannie is getting equal billing with Hilary and Jesse without even having an album out yet! The first single, "Crowded," isn't terrible, just nothing remarkable. (Cameo by Papoose is pretty uninspired, too..."double your money like a 'prophet'"? TRY HARDER, PLEASE.) Like JoJo and J-Lo, but not enough JoJo (why don't I just listen to JoJo instead?). The album's called No Place Like Bklyn...maybe a Reggaeton Nino (or two) will one day make a similar transition. Congratulations to Hollywood Records on a major sweep at the Radio Disney Awards the other night...who woulda thought? Also, RD Kids take note: "Walking on Sunshine" is NOT the best song to listen to on your way to school (Crazy Frog got shut out in that category, too! But losing in the "critter" category is totally inexcusable).




Jillian Wheeler

Another indie kid with a seriously impressive resume:

Jillian has performed with some of today's hottest teen musical acts including JoJo, Hilary Duff, Aaron Carter, Bowling for Soup, Skye Sweetnam, Lil' Romeo, Stevie Brock, Justin Guarini (American Idol Fame), The Beu Sisters, Angel Faith, Nikki Cleary, Casey, Bandcamp, Jada, Fan 3 and many more.


Not to mention her debut album has production input with cred from all over the map: Alanis, Jewel, Aimee Mann, Arthur Lee and Love (?!!)...and the whole thing is being engineered by Nick Walusco of the Wondermints (let's hope he'll provide some back-up vocals). The songs seem half-decent (hard to tell with limited samples...come on, get with the times, even Disney is fully streaming now!), might be an interesting album. More interesting if she works in "the snot caked against my pants/ has turned to crystal."




Jessie Daniels

Just got thrown in the incubaTor, decent Kelly Clarkson lite with the JESUS AMPED UP TO 11!! She's the most pious of the new punks...Jesus is one of her Myspace friends fer [edit]sake!! I LOVE JESSIE DANIELS!!! WILL YOU MARRY ME PLEASE???

I love Jesus. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my producer. I love puppies. I love coffee. I love NY. I love music. I love driving with the windows down. I love Dr.Pepper. I love kung fu movies. I love meeting new people. I love singing. I love shopping. I love smiles. I love coconut jelly bellies. I love the sun. I love the beach. I love chocolate-covered ants. I love traveling. I love hugs & kisses. I love makeup. I love washing my face. I love being in love. I love feeling at peace with God. I love concerts. I love dancing. I love kentucky basketball. I love laughing. I love being me.


I love you being you, too. But how do you feel about Rihanna?

THE BEST PART OF LISTENING TO AMY DIAMOND IS BEING ABLE TO EASILY AVOID DIRECT EYE CONTACT

Amy Diamond - What's In It for Me?

Monday, March 13, 2006

A Star System Is Born


Before/After


Before/After

Major late night revelation ensues from an idea that's been really nagging me lately: why is Ashlee Simpson so goddamn GREAT?

I don't mean this in the ingrained prejudice anti-pop whatever sense, but more honestly...what is it about I Am Me that feels so different than comparable pop-rock in the confessional mode?

First I needed to clarify my terms a bit...I've been throwing around "confessional bubblegum" and it felt not-quite-right. I realized what I've been feeling averse to is not bubblegum per se, but what could be better described as ANONYMOUS CONFESSIONAL.

Bubblegum is an aesthetic. It can be applied to anything, even if the definition of bubblegum is ambiguous and can shift constantly according to the general social/musical climate. Anonymous is a method of production; it may be an ideology (maybe bubblegum is an ideology, too...). My hypothesis is that what we're seeing in teen pop now is not so much the bubblegumification of the confessional post-Alanis (to use a somewhat arbitrary 90s sign post) aesthetic (hell, plenty of Alanis is bubblegum) -- rather, what we're seeing is the movement away from singer persona identification and toward consensus of confessional music indexes, that is, shortcuts to "confessionality" that have nothing to do with direct identification with a performer.

In the case of Aly and AJ, what anonymous-confessional potentially means is that the "I" in most songs is supplanted by "you," the audience. There is no "I" in Aly and AJ, there are only the projections of young audience members. This is the general idea anyway. The teen pop star system functions in a similar way to the Hollywood star system -- you identify with a protagonist not only through celebrity, but through a certain structural means, through recognition of cinematic language (or, if you want to be "indie" about it, through identification with the figure in a trance narrative).

However, one does not identify with the star directly -- I'm no Brad Pitt, nor am I supposed to be. (I am ME!) (And you're not Maya Deren, indie rocker girl.)

This principle (sort of) holds up in the confessional teen pop realm, where identification with a "protagonist" or singer persona is equally dependent on listeners' knowledge of the language of the music (the confessional index) and extra-textual understanding of the star. As the language becomes crystal clear (even to the 6-14 Radio Disney set) the star system may not be necessary...perhaps the "stars" of High School Musical, still "Troy and Gabriella" etc. on the RD playlist, are like B-movie actors. If the B-Movie does well (and it is doing well, both as music and as an ACTUAL B-movie), maybe these temporary protagonist placeholders can become stars in their own right. Which, again predicting here, they very well might in the case of HSM.

Things get interesting with a veil of celebrity. Maybe that's what intrigues me about Ashlee...in the star system, she's the underappreciated sibling, always in the shadow of her sister but somehow more compelling for it...like if Emilio Estevez and Eric Roberts were actually more talented than their siblings, but held lower in esteem anyway. Aesthetically, Ashlee seems to be working in a realm of songwriting very much removed from traditional indexes to confession -- her sound has been described as monotonous on I Am Me, but I find it to be unified. My tentative term for this trend or genre is "celebrity rock diary," which encompasses three important features of Ashlee's album:

1) Ashlee is acutely conscious of her role in a celebrity/star-driven system, and this informs many of her songs.

2) This is not traditional pop, and even given the move away from Britney Euro techno whatever and toward straight guitar/bass/drums rock (and Max Martin masterminded both of them, so don't revive rockism just yet...) there is something intangibly different and compelling about I Am Me. It doesn't begin and end with "pop" (though there's a bit of pop on it, which I L.O.V.E. [third usage of pun = retired]); in fact there's an oppressive wall-of-guitar thing happening that makes some of it weirdly inaccessible, and more striking for it.

3) Again, Ashlee is working from direct personal experience, filtered through complicit audience understanding of her celebrity. Not just anyone can be a star, meaning the number of artists who can even ATTEMPT this mode of songwriting is very low, and some of the ones who have tried it (Lindsay, I love ya but your album is really not good this time around!) have failed.

Hitchcock understood this third point perhaps better than any director with full access to the elite Hollywood star system. And when I really thought about all this, I came up with a bunch of imperfect but hopefully provocative metaphors to link today's teen pop stars with Hitchcock films.

♥ Skye Sweetnam/Noise from the Basement is Psycho: Audiences assume a big budget production, but it turns out it was produced as an indie! Hitchcock used his television crew and few regulars from his production team; Skye recorded in the basement with a totally green youngun producer who nailed it. Referential irony is a crucial strength, but subtle and may go over the heads of audiences who aren't viewing or listening esoterically. Yes, both Hitchcock and Skye know it's all kind of silly -- that's the whole point, nerds and nerdettes!

♥ Ashlee Simpson/I Am Me is Vertigo: A master work that could be categorized as "neither a hit nor a failure" (Truffaut), receiving moderate critical praise upon release (ignoring baseless character attacks posing as critical evaluation) and undoubtedly earning more recognition over time. Like when Kara DioGuardi gets inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Aside from the obvious hair dye parallels, the stories intersect: Ashlee, like Kim Novak, will seemingly do anything for the man of her dreams (the ambiguous "you" invoked in songs like "Dancing Alone" and "In Another Life") but, like James Stewart, is bitter and somewhat aimless after a series of major traumas. In terms of production, the masterful crafting of both album and film are to some extent concealed by a mesmerizing aesthetic and narrative.

♥ The Veronicas/Secret Life Of... are North by Northwest: Big, bold, epic, hard to follow in a linear fashion. Both feel like eating a whole cheesecake in one sitting when tackled from start to finish in one go. Secret Life Of... will be quoted primarily for "scenes" that have little relation to the bulk of the album...perhaps "4Ever" is the crop duster and "Everything I'm Not" is the Mount Rushmore chase?

♥ Courtney Love is The 39 Steps: I'm becoming increasingly convinced that Courtney Love is pretty much the archetype of mid-00s confessional teen pop. She served as a template before anyone had any idea there even was a template. How to divvy this connection between Celebrity Skin and America's Sweetheart eludes me at the moment, but there is more to come on this one.

♥ Liz Phair is The Man Who Knew Too Much: Liz Phair's early work in the 1990s is comparable with the 1930s version. Her "remake" as an unapologetic pop star functions as the 1950s update -- bigger, flashier, and critically derided in a knee-jerk fashion by elitists for daring to fuck with the original. (This is kind of a stretch, I'm not sure there's a significant 1955 Man Who Knew Too Much "backlash.")

♥ Lindsay Lohan/RAW is Rope: The audacious conceit (filmed in "one shot"/putting Dad in the role of pop-traditional unidentified male...also a competent cover of "Edge of Seventeen") doesn't redeem the fact that the individual ideas are all pretty lame. Good performances, mediocre material.

♥ Aly and AJ/Into the Rush are The Birds. Both contain semi-anonymous stars who got bigger after release, both are generally really friggin' creepy but kind of fake, and both demonstrate a definite underlying streak of straight-up misanthropy. Also, the Aly and AJ cover reminds me of the final scene of The Birds...those eyes follow you out of the room!!!! I'll never look at bombshell blonde tweens/seagulls the same again.

AND MIRANDA! IS KIND OF LIKE BERNARD HERRMANN!

Miranda! - Quiero

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Academia, Here I Come!



Woops, I seem to have forgotten about this one while drafting my previous post...

So for the record, confessional bubblegum is not an oxymoron. There was never any doubt. Also, Radio Disney streaming has changed my life in five-minute intervals! Dude, the non-Aquamarine Jonas Brothers song RULES!

OK, 'nuff chat. MUSICS! All for $3 or bust over at Newbury Comics! Geez, I used to actively AVOID that section! How stupid was that??

Note: The Kelis track is also in honor of this bizarre contest over at Fluxblog...dude, Ian MacKaye's got nothin' on Nas.

COULD THAT A*TEENS TRACK BE DIRTY WHEN YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT?*

*"Floor" [Flür] is also Hopelandish for "womb," ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM.

A*Teens - Floorfiller

Fatty Koo - Bounce

Kelis - In Public

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The Epic-est 60th Post in the Universe

Lots of ideas today, flowing from scattered essays in this Audio Culture primer for digital media seminar, posts, other readings. So I'll try to capture a few and start forming some essays...



1. ASHLEE AND AUTHORSHIP

Funny that as I seem to be arguing against authorship in the film realm in the context of digital media projects, I seem to be arguing FOR recognition of artist authorship in the “corporate” pop realm—more specifically, fighting off some of my indie-devoted friends as they attack Ashlee Simpson (and others).

First, a few facts: Ashlee Simpson co-writes her songs with Kara DioGuardi (songwriter) and John Shanks (producer), who form a sort of trio of authorship. To my understanding, Simpson concerns herself with lyrics, DioGuardi with lyrics and music, and Shanks with production—the relationship is likely semi-fluid, with some equal input into each aspect in this triangle. This sort of relationship can be seen in many teen pop artists’ work, including Aly and AJ, the Veronicas, Lindsay Lohan, Kelly Clarkson, etc.

I’ve been arguing, obviously drawing heavily from other critical sources, that what can be seen in the realm of teen pop now (and arguably for the past ten years—yeah, I’m late to the party, but it still seems kind of sparsely attended even now!) is a (re)turn to the mode of pre-Beatles pop in the Phil Spector/girl group vein, with (perhaps—my sense of history is still admittedly lacking here) more input from the performing artists, whose role traditionally has been to advance a constructed persona, not act as author.

I attempt to discuss this through the lens of “manufactured music” in this article. Unfortunately, my thoughts in this essay are half-formed at best and my evidence is spotty—essentially I’m distinguishing between consciously manufactured acts (like the Archies) and audience-projected manufactured acts who have some control over their music and image but are (I argue, arbitrarily) held to standards of authorship that are unfair and contextually inappropriate (i.e. the Monkees). What’s interesting about this distinction is that the initial backing of both bands, Kirshner and Brill-based writers and producers, positions both artists/groups within the same system of production.

The “21st century girl groups” (to quote Marc Hogan’s “Self Portrait” essay again) find themselves in a tricky space between manufactured and non-manufactured—they have input in their own image and music that may have been unavailable to many Brill, bubblegum, and girl group performers of the 1960s, but are currently held to harsher and more hypocritical standards of “authenticity” than have ever been widely held. I suspect that the selective consumer model that privileges “independent music” as somehow more valid than mainstream pop—a definition that itself is changing and mutating incredibly quickly—is partially to blame here; "conscientious" consumerism in pop music (indie affirmative action!) often ignores the structural reality that much if not most “indie” is niche-marketed pop that falls under the same institutional categories as, say, Skye Sweetnam (who now shares a label with the Decemberists).

As much as it seems to contradict my understanding and opinions of global economic and political issues, I think that a certain structural flattening of critical consideration of all pop music (even given certain gains, like the success of “Since U Been Gone” and other pop songs in previously independent/alternative purist channels) is necessary in order to “adequately listen” (to paraphrase Ola Stockfelt...hm, I suppose I’ll miss undergrad college after all…) to artists like Ashlee Simpson, whose image is consistently used to dismiss critical engagement with her music.

Ashlee Simpson adheres to the same (problematic) model of songwriting “authenticity” as many of her indie counterparts. I juxtaposed the Stooges’ “1969” and “Dancing Alone” to explore the idea that Ashlee and Iggy aren’t that far off in the ways they perceive themselves and the world around them in the midst of post-adolescence through their music. Iggy says “oh my and boo hoo,” a juvenile (but weirdly profound, or at least viscerally accurate) reaction to transition into adulthood that admits a tendency to cling to adolescence with every ounce of strength.

Ashlee similarly uses an ambiguously defined relationship (whoever is referred to in both songs' subject, "you") to evocatively portray the unique loneliness that accompanies post-adolescence-going-on-adulthood. A friend dismissed her lyrics as simplistic, but I argue that there is as much truth in Ashlee’s simple, seemingly trite observations as there is in any number of indie artists whose esoteric lyrical impulses (the Shins model being a reductive but appropriate reference point) belie the fundamental childishness of post-adolescent angst.

The key is context, and I don’t deny the power of indie artists in the area of post-adolescent angst, I only argue that Ashlee deals with the same subject in her own effective way. I was immediately drawn to Funeral because of its juvenile playfulness and because of its articulate and evocative depiction of kicking-and-screaming maturity. People weep (oh my, boo hoo), they escape into the snow, they hole themselves away in their rooms and construct morbid, silly vampire narratives, they tear up the streets, they flat-out WAIL (“Wake Up”)—anything to avoid the apparent coldness of adulthood. The Sunset Tree is an album that uses gorgeous poetic language and verse to depict this same dilemma between childhood and adulthood and the transition from one to the other (specifically through an abusive childhood and adolescence). So do, in their own ways, Blueberry Boat and Separation Sunday.

I Am Me deserves to be discussed in the same vein (if my premise of shared themes is founded) as these albums. The difference is, Ashlee expresses herself in the moment as she experiences it, and is prone to the occasional heart-on-sleeve clichĆ© and inarticulateness that this might suggest. But she’s also a lot more fun and honest from the present—and, as I’ve stated before, her particular trauma is VERY PUBLIC. Presumably, John Darnielle would not have written “This Year” as the young man drinking Scotch and pounding on an arcade machine, nor would he be expected to—context is key. Ashlee is drinking Scotch (in McDonalds, I guess) right now and kicking the proverbial Coke machine with Skye, who went through this stuff two years ago (and will probably go through it again in another two years or so down the road).




2. RADIO DISNEY MUSINGS Mk. 1,000,000

I’m still trying to organize an article on Radio Disney for Buzzsaw, but find myself paralyzed by the possibilities of the undertaking. Here are a few of my questions:

1) What role do Disney and Hollywood Records have on the introduction of material to Radio Disney, and how much power legitimately belongs in the hands of consumers (the kids)?

I asked Mike Saunders about the dominance of Hollywood Records in the RD Top 30, and he helpfully reminded me about the democratic call-in/online process through which songs are selected (via “pick it or kick it” on the weekly Music Mailbag)—which, as far as he knew, was not tampered with by Disney programming directors. He reminded me that a better line of inquiry would be in the introduction of material to the general playlist, i.e. which songs are selected to be picked or kicked. I tried to imagine RD as a Milton Friedman-like model community of neoclassical economics in action, but this theory was pretty much shot down by a friend who knows a lot more about this stuff than I do…she maintains that participation in the RD system isn’t exactly based on market forces (maybe if the playlist was determined by purchasing instead of voting, this model might kind of hold, but not really).

In truth, Radio Disney is more of a totalitarian capitalist system, in which a “benevolent” corporate entity provides structures for consumers (Disney kids) to choose from. Within the context of the Disney corporation market “space,” you can vote and participate in a democratic system, and the “best” music will “naturally” take its place at the top of the socioeconomic hierarchy. Another friend pointed out that this sounds a lot like fascism, which is an intriguing idea I’m not going to explore right now. Other areas of exploration include whether or not textual diversity is truly a myth in this system (how homogenous is the Radio Disney playlist in comparison to Top 40 radio, for instance?).

A problem that arises from the Radio Disney model (whatever that is) is that Disney has a clear monopoly on teen pop. If Hollywood Records artists saturate the RD market, it’s as much because of Disney’s complete control of said market as it is the relative lack of stable competition from other companies. As Saunders points out, other Top 40 artists tend to do about as well on RD as they do on Billboard. This is a result of the combination of Disney’s overall influence on what material its audience is exposed to (the monopoly factor) and the legitimate lack of competition in the field.

During the emergence of teen pop in the late 90s, the Jive label was instrumental in proliferating much of the most important teen pop music. However, Jive seems not to have adequately supported many of its artists with the thoroughness (and Big 5 media conglomerate advertising clout) of Disney’s subsidiary label; perhaps artists like Hoku and No Secrets would have longer and more productive careers on Disney. Hilary Duff, Jesse McCartney, and Aly and AJ (and Devo?) will continue to record as long as Disney is willing to push them, and the corporation’s advertising influence on the 6-14 crowd is pretty much unchallenged. Despite major advances by Disney in the area of anonymous studio constructions—notably the recent High School Musical phenomenon—brand recognition is still in their long-term economic interests. I predict that a HSM alum will have a modest breakthrough as a Disney-backed solo artist (“Zac Efron” is already one of the most popular searches that brings up this site on Google).

From what I can conclude, as long as you can accept the corporate-controlled so-called democratic arrangement of Disney’s production and distribution of teen pop (which, in a sense, you have to accept in all mainstream pop music, and even a lot of so-called “indie” music), Radio Disney is pint-sized free market (but not really) democracy in action. Scary and exciting and totally fucked up—just like the world!

2) To what extent are Disney-produced and distributed artists, including the Top 40 crossovers outside the corporate umbrella, reflecting the attitudes of their audience and to what extent are they influencing them?

Of course this is a very tricky proposition in itself. The domestic effect model of audience engagement with media (mmm, Global Hollywood…), is essentially based on the (false) assumption that general audiences should be conceived as impressionable children sensitive to the messages presented to them in their media. Or to quote directly:

[The DEM] is universalist and psychological. The DEM offers analysis and critique of such crucial citizenship questions as education and civic order. It views the screen as a machine that can either pervert or direct the citizen-consumer. Entering young minds osmotically, it can enable or emperil learning and drive the citizen to violence through aggressive and misogynistic images and narratives.


So what if the audience members are actually impressionable young children? Perhaps if teen pop truly encompassed literal teenagers, this wouldn't be as much of an issue; however, the fact that the producers and disseminators of teen pop essentially no longer admit teens into demographic consideration (that demographic again is 6-14) may change the DEM-based argument. Is it possible to listen to any, or all, music being directed at preteens (although even the blanket term "tween" may be increasingly useless as this demographic shifts younger and younger into childhood...are six-year-olds really tweens?) as a social, political, or cultural influence on development?

The most fascinating example in this case is still Aly and AJ for me, who might be portraying a commonly held fear of the outside world in some of their songs. But the songs are not exclusively written by Aly and AJ—some of the material is written by the duo’s mother, who as a responsible parental influence should probably have her daughters READ some of the Missing Children information they’ve manipulated to both express their own fear and (consciously or not) terrify their young audiences with paranoid fantasies that ideally should be challenged, not perpetuated. But this could even be applied to artists like Kelly Clarkson, who conveys desolation and despair effectively to children who may both relate to and be influenced in some way by the lyrics of some of her songs (Clarkson’s separation from the Disney production system and an exclusively child-oriented audience kind of undercuts this argument).

Are kids really “growing up faster,” as has been suggested, or are they being “grown up” faster, to more efficiently consume what Disney has to offer (and stay indoors at all times!)? I would guess that the first proposition is more likely than the second, if there’s any validity at all to the second proposition, which I’m not convinced there is. Besides which, Radio Disney is a comparatively tiny niche to the rest of the culture industries, and the rest of the Disney corporate entity. If it has any major direct influence at all on the actions or opinions of its audience (which itself is arguable), it’s still the media channel that has the smallest scope of influence.

3) Can a distinction be made between “manufactured” and “authentic” sentiment or lyrical imagery on Radio Disney?

Again I would ultimately argue no on this one, but it’s worth exploring. Taking “Because of You” (which just happens to be playing in the background of the coffee shop at the moment) as an example: what is the role of conscious image construction in the way that specific lyrics are absorbed by a general audience? A common trope of pop criticism is that lyrics are essentially unimportant. I think this is a dismissive and misguided assumption, though overemphasizing and misreading pop lyrics can be equally misguided, and I've certainly overblown and misread my fair share of pop lyrics. However, with Kelly Clarkson, lyrics are of crucial importance; we are presented with some really harrowing ideas and imagery, and they simply can’t be dismissed at face value.

But to what extent are these ideas consistently dismissed? I know that friends and family can sing this song by heart, and it seems destined to be a karaoke staple—but who has really engaged with the lyrics critically? This isn’t to critique the lyrics; I actually think it’s one of her most powerful songs. I’m posing the question of whether or not lyrical content is lost on audiences when said content is presented in the guise of mainstream pop, whose lyrics are often dismissed altogether simply for being conveyed in a Top 40 venue.

So no, I don’t think a distinction can be made between the construction and authenticity (in fact, I would argue that all lyrics, like all narratives, are constructions). Building on this premise, it seems important to critically analyze the content of the songs that Radio Disney chooses to play, and, more importantly, those songs that Disney chooses to produce but not play. Any discourse on Radio Disney should include thoughtful discussion of the songs that are not chosen for rotation, but are included on Hollywood and other Disney labels.

Not sure if this needs to be said explicitly, but this is in no way an argument for censorship of any kind, I’m just pointing to a discursive area that seems under- (or, simply, not) explored or theorized in the few pieces I’ve read on teen pop and Radio Disney.




3. CONFESSIONAL BUBBLEGUM

Is this an oxymoron? If we can accept that many teen pop artists are working in a directly confessional mode based on personal experience (not to say this is “more honest,” “more true,” or “more authentic” than any other songwriting mode, but that it is valid and worthy of serious critical examination), then how does the artist image construction add to, detract from, complement, or negate the confessional aspect of the music?

The line is blurred with artists like Britney Spears, whose artist image has evolved along with her aesthetic (I suppose this argument could have been put forward throughout Madonna’s career as well), but there is also an increasing number of teen pop artists using certain indices of confessional “authenticity” (see the above photo for a nice, particularly loaded visual index to, quite literally, confession; these cues can be translated to various musical affects as well, though I won't try to clarify specifics in this post) to develop a conflicted pop persona: the legitimate artist whose projected pain is purportedly derived from real experience.

These include Lindsay Lohan, Avril Lavigne, Michelle Branch, Ashlee Simpson, Aly and AJ, Kelly Clarkson, even a few songs by Hilary Duff. This has more or less been Ashlee’s M.O. from the start, but Lindsay Lohan adopted this persona more recently, hinted at in “Rumors” but spelled out much more explicitly on RAW, which may overshoot the “real-life authenticity” mark and enter flat-out unpleasant territory. The appropriate phrase might be THERAPY EXHIBITIONISM, which is not the same thing as drawing from personal trauma to create compelling pop (although the biggest flaw of RAW is that the songs aren’t any good).

The Veronicas (and to a lesser extent Aly and AJ) exist in an ambiguous gray area between straight bubblegum (right now the exemplar is probably Crazy Frog, one of the few legit manufactured pop creations on the market) and real-life confessional. (I should reiterate at this point that I’m using “real-life” as a signifier of a trend or mode of songwriting that evokes direct, relatable adolescent life experience.) Bratz could probably be included here, although most of the lyrics are based on self-help tropes and familiar celebrity fantasies (“So Good”).

There’s not really an argument against the validity of confessional bubblegum as a genre, as I implied before to justify my growing aversion to the Veronicas album. In fact, much of the 60s girl group and one-hit wonder acts were doing just that. Issues that connect with young people have changed significantly, as has the demographic range of music consumers. A systematic exploration of contemporary issues that connect with the 6-14 audience (as opposed to maybe the 15-20 audience, which I would assume was the pop audience norm of the 1960s), why they connect, and how these issues are manipulated and conveyed by both producers and artists are all underrepresented areas of study.




4. THE TEEN POP ENCYCLOPEDIA

This is still at the conceptual starting gate at this point, with some preliminary research finished. Essentially, I would like to start a major, systematic study of the genre of teen pop from c. 1995 to present. This would necessarily encompass several artists prior to the vague starting date (notably Ace of Base to include the emergence of Denniz Pop, Max Martin and Cheiron studio as well as late-80s/early 90s progenitors). It would also encompass key producers, writers, and studios. Tracking production teams rather than individual artists makes the genre much easier to define and map out, and I’m currently working on compilations that focus on songwriters and producers (first comp: Andreas Carlsson)—eventually I think that a Back to Mono-style teen pop collection of Max Martin or John Shanks or any number of writer/producers will be historically valuable.

If you’re reading this and are interested in this project, email me and we can talk. Right now I’m trying to convince my friends that I haven’t gone crazy, but I have faith that there is a significant critical audience for an undertaking like this.

OK, that’s enough for this epic post. Apologies to those of you hoping for more Tik ‘n’ Tak to add to your collection. (Hey, if anyone has a full version of Toy-Box’s Fantastic, you should contact me pronto! Who wants to lobby to get this, along with albums like We Didn’t Say That!, back IN PRINT?)

FINAL WORD: RADIO DISNEY IS NOW STREAMING TO THE INTERNET! BIG NEWS!

Sunday, March 05, 2006

It's Official: Jews Love Rihanna!!



No joke. Which got me thinking, with all of this piety = punk talk, how many of today's teen pop stars AREN'T evangelist proselytizers perpetuating a destructive neoconservative agenda? According to this Wikipedia entry, a couple of these stars are Jewish! These include:

Vanessa Carlton
Aaron Carter
Nick Carter
(EDIT: Leslie Carter should be noted here. Maybe I should update the Wiki article?)
Courtney Love
Mandy Moore
Sara Paxton
Pink
Joe Trohman of Fall Out Boy
Adam Levine of Maroon 5
Carmit Bachar of the Pussycat Dolls

Any others? Comment below! Meanwhile, listen to the new Rihanna single! I guarantee you will like it, provided you are Jewish!*

*guarantee not valid. The owners of Blogger (TM) would like to reiterate that they do NOT necessarily endorse the content of their weblogs.

Rihanna - SOS (Rescue Me)

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

More Myspace Madness!

MYSPACE MADNESS! LET'S MEET A FEW MORE OF MY FRIENDS!

(Note from the previous entry: Chrissy! never accepted my friendship. Whatever, yer music is BORING anyway! Ha! Unless you add me eventually, in which case thanks.)


Kimberley Locke

Along with Diana DeGarmo, an American Idol semifinalist who couldn't cut it -- I'm not big on Ruben or Clay, although of these songs "8th World Wonder" is the only song that catches my ear, not really much interest overall. Kimmie answers a buncha fan questions via the "Ask Kimmie" thread on her Myspace blog, but the answers aren't all that interesting. Effort noted, appreciated.

In preparing an Andreas Carlsson compilation for Ross and other interested folks (which just got DELETED, along with my ENTIRE IPOD), I note that Kimberley is one of the few AI vets that hasn't performed a Carlsson song. Also, there are WAY more AC songs than the ones listed at this post-Cheiron site that need to be on the list! Every other damn CD I open these days has Andreas Carlsson's signature on at least one track -- including two omissions from said list I received today: Kaci (not Brown) and Tik N' Tak.



Cheyenne Kimball

Cheyenne (track posted below in my semi-free association Aquamarine post) just got tossed in the Disney incubaTor, and is moving toward a potential modest hit debut album...I really like a lot of this stuff (toned down Avril angst-rock, vaguely Katy Rose without the emo poetry, which I actually kind of like for some reason!). Actually, listening to a few more songs, there's a pop country streak underlying this stuff, too, maybe just the vocal inflection. I'm really looking forward to this album! I should do a background check on what successful incubaTor'd artists do after incubaTion...



Katelyn Tarver

...Oh wait, they go on the incubaTor tour! Katelyn Tarver was a semifinalist on American Idol Junior, and she has a (weird!) connection to what I'm assuming is Barbie Daries:

Along with the album, Wonderful Crazy, Katelyn's Con Air commercial can be seen on National TV regularly and she also played Barbie in an upcoming animated movie, which used Katelyn's body movements. "It was kind of weird, but a lot of fun." Katelyn explains.


HOLY SHIT BARBIE IS A TEEN POP FRANKENSTEIN!!!!

The Myspace tracks are pretty good, although a few sound like demos (I guess everything sounds like a demo on Myspace). Highlight here is clearly "Undeniable," highly ProTooled bubblegum goodness. I would like to note that Wonderful Crazy was never released or distributed by a major label. Which means, of course, that Katelyn Tarver is an up-and-coming indie rock artist! I love sayin' that! Big ol' blog essay to follow about how much of this stuff qualifies as Christian rock...even Daphne & Celeste give shout-outs to Big Man in their liners (finally bought We Didn't Say That! after a long wait -- hm, that Japanese song makes me uncomfortable).

Here's what Christianity Today sez about Katelyn:

While there aren't any overt declarations of faith, the songs still seem more meaningful than those of Jump5 and Aly & AJ, offering more bang-for-buck with well-produced music and subtle spiritual references.


Take that, Aly & AJ, you godless fearmongers!

So is piety the new punk? Hope Partlow describes an imminent "Catholic Girls"-esque scenario in her diary liners:
What a DORK! That guy in the church band -- the drummer to be exact. He is way into me. I know it!! But all he does is look. Well I got sick of waiting for him to say something.

So right before the Youth Group tonight, I just walked up to him. I said -- Hey. We should hang out. You're in a band -- I need a band. (Plus I heard that some guys like girls that can approach them...guess he didn't.) He said, "I have to go pray now." ...all I could say was Amen!

I'll just take that one as a compliment. TOO BAD!!! Nobody can figure that guy out!


Gee, Hope, is he an altar boy? Screw it, I'm going to church. Sorry Emily, won't be attending the Hillel dance this time. (Ha, lyrics from the subsequent song: "Now other girls will just lead you on/ But I just wanna have some fun/ ...Talkin' 'bout just one kiss, can you handle this?")



Marion Raven

One half of M2M (Marit Larsen doesn't appear to be on Myspace, but I prefer her solo material from what I've heard of both artists) offers up some pretty damn fine tunes. Hm, this sounds EXACTLY like the Veronicas, except I'm willing to give Marion extra credit because she got there first. She's a vet, and starting over isn't easy, judging from the liners in this Monkees box set, which is awesome. Actually, I like these Marion Raven songs more than I remember. (Maybe M1 is a tie with M2.)

Not much else to say...I just want to point out that I really like that hat.



Lalaine

Another Pixel Perfect pick, except the music career is a pretty blatant cross-promotion with her Lizzie McGuire role. Katelyn Tarver is in the Top 8 Friends list...second-shelf Disney stable comrades gotta stick together, I suppose. The glasses are a nice touch. I know nothing about Lizzie McGuire, is Lalaine's character the brainiac or something? (Woop, just enlarged the pic, nice Ray-Ban logo...yeesh. Maybe she'll endorse a Hummer?)

Final thought: the brainiac teen pop star is a seriously unmined persona...Skye should stick with the geek specs to go along with her more conservative image and just admit that she's pretty much the smartest pop kid on the block by a longshot. I get the feeling that Skye is pandering to her interviewers, even when they're trying to pander to her! A mere 15 minutes on the IMer will produce the greatest interview of all time -- addressed to my lurking Capitol Records PR pals. Just sayin.

IS THIS M1 OR M2? SHE'D PROBABLY SAY 2, BUT SHE'S 2 MODEST!

Marit Larsen - Don't Save Me (courtesy Fluxblog)

A GLARING OMMISSION OVER AT ANDREAS CARLSSON.COM

Tik N' Tak - Reunited