Pavement - Slanted and Enchanted
Hey, this is OK so far. Shuffles along, really groggy and gross, but it's not as, uh, lo-fi as I remember it being. Like, they're doing this shit on purpose. Which isn't annoying me as it once did (I've never been able to remember a single goddamn song from this album and since about six years ago I've probably listened to it about a dozen times, maybe) [EDIT: Eh, probably fewer].
The way Stephen Malkmus tosses out that laugh is pretty annoying. Hunh. Snutgh. Blurtgh. (Oh yeah, this song is called "Summer Babe." Because that is what they are saying now. Doesn't remind me much of summer babes at all.)
Do people really think that Stephen Malkmus is a good lyricist? (Oh yeah, this song is called "Trigger Cut." Because they just said that.)
Look, I'll level with you people here. This is not me. I do not relate to this music. I feel like a poseur when I listen to it, and I also feel like I wouldn't want to be whatever it is I have pretensions of being. I'm not sure what that is. A member of Pavement, perhaps. I still like "Cut Your Hair" OK.
I'll give it a shot, I guess. It's just, like, it makes me want to pretend I'm having a good time, while everyone knows that I'm not really having a great time. I don't even aspire to like it. I aspire to APPEAR to be liking it. It makes me wanna go hunh. Hunh-hunh. THAT IS NOT MANIACAL LAUGHTER. Or giggling. Or chuckling, even. I mean, gimme a laugh I can use. I can't laugh at these guys. I certainly can't laugh with 'em.
No, I'll give it till the end, I'm on like track 5. Still remember nothing about any of the songs, except that one is called "Summer Girls" (because they said that) and one is called "Trigger Cut" (ditto). I imagine guys puffing out their bottom lips and sucking their teeth. That sorta sneer. I imagine really awful haircuts. I imagine a guy getting really into it but not really keeping the beat (they can't either, maybe there's the connection)? Y'know, the guy that kind of lifts the back of his foot and drops it to the ground, the back-step, whenever he feels like it. And I imagine a girl next to him, she's going to the beat. Maybe she's enjoying herself. I mean some of these people have rhythm. I suspect that some of them are pretending NOT to have rhythm, but that's pure speculation.
OK, played with kittens through the "I'M TRYIN' I'M TRYIN'" song and gotta say that they growl better than he does. MRREAAAAAAAAWWRRRRRR, like when you just flip 'em upside down and start shaking. At least the crazy one does that (she's got a screw lose).
I'm not sure if this is a new song or not. Now I'm imagining people who wear fake mustaches "for fun," just like that, in quotation marks. Like it was kinda funny at first, but then they took it a little too seriously. And then they started playing video games with the mustaches on and there was just something kind of sad about it, y'know?
No more glockenspiel presumably = new song. Song 8. This one doesn't have the title in it, but it did sound like they were saying "mustache" at one point.
Briefly join a conversation over on the couch about how frequently cats barf up hairballs. Strong urge to turn off music in presence of company. ("I can see the fan"?)
OK this one I remember liking, Track 9. Slows down so you can't hear how bad the drummer is, at least not as, like, a statement. Not paying attention to the lyrics, but there's a nice melody. Restrained, kinda sweet.
OMG and now they're swinging a little! "Special" glam. I remember this one. Another one I imagine people shouting along to and making me uneasy for some reason. "Two States," that's right. That was good! And the next one's OK too, this sorta picks up at the end. I can't even begin to conceive of any time when this album could have ever been a big deal.
VERDICT: ...MIGHT SELL [BESIDES MAYBE I SHOULD BUY THE DELUXE VERSION TWO CDs WORTH OF THIS STUFF!]
Oh wait there are three more songs. OK, back to the kittens...after skipping 12. The last two are OK. Eh, whatever, some of it's alright I guess. <--wait, maybe this is why it was a big deal? Ends with a "special" waltz. Like the Shaggs, except Pavement didn't practice nearly as much.
NEXT UP: Whatever album is #7. My own laptop broke so I'll need to actually look through my CDs...A*Teens - The ABBA Generation. Whadda twofer.