Now usually I don't do this, but, uh...

SEMI-NEOLOGISM ALERT.

Look, I admit to being an Easter and Christmas kinda wonk -- an Election and Crisis sort of guy. Makes me feel guilty and all that. But lately it has been taking my energies away from thinking about, y'know, Krystal Meyers. (Who doesn't deserve ALL that much thought -- would like to follow up from my previous post, tho.) Maybe Piper Palin will make a bid for Xtian teenpop superstardom, but barring that there's just not a heckuva lot of overlap.

So! I'm going to suspend our regularly scheduled content to insist that everyone start branding this economic crisis NOW, while it's still hot:

Please refer to it ONLY as THE BIG BAIL.

A lot of people are using "Big Bail Out," and it's just one syllable too clunky. We need something sufficiently and efficiently negative to immediately drag down, when invoked, the administration linked to it. The Big Bail is your phrase. Please use it! That is all. A few good souls have been referring to the catchier phrase, but we need to institutionalize it. It needs to be standard, across the board -- can you imagine if everyone went around calling it "The Great Period of Financial Instability" or something?

We'll discuss the "Horrendous Space Kablooie" later.

Christ gets a tick

So I'm pretty much ready to go out on a limb here and say that Krystal Meyers (Christian pop artist responsible for pretty good Avril-lite anthem "Anticonformity", now on Sony BMG) has the most solid single-singer 4/4 chart-pop-style album out this year. Don't really know how she did it. It helps that Annie unwisely explored her "range" when she has maybe the narrowest voice in pop at the moment; Miley Cyrus refuses to put more than three good songs on a single album; Ashlee Simpson's playing dress-up and 4/4 chart-pop isn't really her style anyway, though she wears it well enough; Mariah Carey's album goes on forfuckingever; Leona Lewis is in a 90's time warp; Janet's is kind of a mess; Katy Perry must die (though honestly popwise her album's stronger than everyone here except Ashlee and maybe Mariah); Madonna's I haven't heard yet, though my expectations aren't too high. Who else is there these days, anyway?

So yeah, Krystal Meyers. Xtian pop artist, produced by a few teenpop semi-regulars -- Colleen Fitzpatrick, a.k.a. Vitamin C, and her one-time pop team (Dave Derby and Max Kotch) on lead single "Make Some Noise" -- and some biggish names in Christian pop, writers for dc Talk and Michelle Williams and Jump5 and Britt Nicole.

Frank Kogan points out a (potentially) important similarity between lead single "Make Some Noise" and Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" -- same glamstomp, same alto, same 'tude, but totally free of smugness or sourness, no delivery issues. Fairly earnest, if vague, Let's Hear It for Jesus anthem. But I think the comparison probably holds some weight -- any discussion of Katy Perry's career is incomplete without a major understanding of her role in Christian rock, which plugs her into a massive scene that a lot of, er, secular critics ignore completely. But that's where Katy's from, and it may well be whom she's trying to piss off with her weakly risque baiting.

But generally the vibe I get on the album is straightforward guitar-injected dance-pop, splitting the difference between the two Veronicas albums, maybe. It's generic, sure, but not a single dud in eleven tracks -- even piano-adorned inspirational guitar-chug ballad "My Freedom" isn't so soppy that it bombs; part of it's the refreshing Avril alto angst, which codes as style over actual angst (though admittedly I haven't paid a whole lot of attention to the lyrics) but feels refreshingly honest, despite the overwhelming generic baggage. It's a similar tactic that didn't work for Jessie Daniels, closer to Breakaway era Kelly Clarkson, who for the most part just couldn't transcend her own inspirational dippiness by absorbing a style that would code "angry."

So yeah, don't necessarily go looking for unexpected existentialist-evangelist angst a la Aly and AJ (actually, no idea what denomination Krystal is -- hello research). But I'm pretty convinced that this is no-filler, at least three or four great ones. That very well might put Krystal on the top of the pop heap, even if it won't put her in competition with Dolly or Erykah or Ashlee or...um, Randy. Yeah.

Krystal Meyers - Make Some Noise