It should come as no surprise to anyone that I like me some stupid shit. But shouldn't there be a way to keep track of all of the stupid shit that I like? Well, reader, you are in luck. I have started the STUPID SHIT INDEX, a very scientific measure of how awesome stupid shit I like actually is to other scientists and such. Most of these tracks have undergone peer review (at the Singles Jukebox).
It looks like 2012 is already going to be a delightful year for stupid shit, as one of my favorite stupid shits (not to be confused with the Stupid Shits) from 2011, Lil Chuckee, who was featured on "Did Ya Mama" on the best and stupidest-shit album of last year, the Collipark mixtape.
Lil' Chuckee - Wop
Short for "'Wobble' w/ bomp," Lil Chuckee reminds us that Little Richard was, indeed, a fool for this one.
Breathe Carolina - Blackout
Slowly but surely the vocodering and Autotuning are getting me to care less about the whiny affectations of singers in sideways trucker hats. (More and more Hellogoodbye look like they staked out key territory here -- they're the Lewis and Clark of my giving a shit about emo dude singers.) Here the boys give themselves over to the DJ, who mixes and futzes with vocals like another instrument -- I don't think I've heard those clipped DJ sound drop-outs used in a pop chorus, but it works.
Key Swag 3000 - Poof
H/t John Seroff on this one -- embedded, commentary unnecessary at this point. Kat Stevens should analyze a few of these outfits.
Brianna Perry - Marilyn Monroe
Not nearly as stupid as Donald Trump. I'm trying to figure out if this lyric is what I suspect it is:
I'm goin' blonde -- I think I'm Marilyn
So I bought more -- Maryland
I'm not sure I've ever heard someone say that they have so much money they could buy a state.
Neon Hitch - Fuck U Betta
I find it impossible to hate this song. Someone brought up the Vengaboys, so I'll just say that this sounds like Girlicious on the Vengabus. If that sounds like a public transit system to hell, you probably shouldn't click through.
And hey, that reminds me that Anjulie's "Brand New Bitch" has been sneaking around the periphery of my consciousness for the better part of six months, and I think it should be belatedly included here. Sounded awesome in Whole Foods the other day! (Wait, really? YES. That happened. DANCE PARTY IN THE BULK GRANOLA AISLE.)
Astute readers will note that I almost immediately abandoned the whole concept of a "Stupid Shit Index." Well, in the time that I began writing this post, my top, second, and third-choice science journals got back to me saying that my data was unpublishable. So consider these merely anecdotal evidence that is in need of more rigorous confirmation. I'll see if I can get a conference presentation out of it at least.
EDIT: Oh, and finally, back by popular demand, a singer called BM who sounds like a horse.